*refuses to move to the big city to reduce risk of parallel parking*
Just take the train 😊
how the heck am i gonna parallel park a train?
Photography Tricks Anyone Can Do.
@i-dont-believe-in-saints this seems relevant to your interests
Now THIS is the sort of photography tutorial I’ve been waiting for!
(via yafpot)
When I hear police sirens getting closer
- Me, a homebody who never does anything illegal: They found me.
Me: I’m gonna set a personal deadline
Me to me: She’s a huge pushover do whatever you want
(via lesbianvibe)
im glad peoples perception of madds mikkelson evolved past the “hannibal guy”
now he’s hideo kojimas husband
(Source: toadprince, via twinksufjan)
- Intro: yo bitch dis my paper
- Body Paragraphs: *written beautifully along with correct spelling and grammar"
- Conclusion: dats it lol bye
- anime woman: *has a baby*
- anime doctor: *checks the baby's hairstyle* i'm sorry ma'am......he's a main character
- anime woman: *sob* no.....i'm too young to die........
- anime doctor: i'm sorry....you know the rules...... *takes out a gun*
I’m kinkshaming all of Germany
Is it better or worse if I tell y'all that “Nüsse” means “nuts”
Dicke means Fat or Thick
this post only gets worse
super dickman’s thick nuts
(via perks-of-being-chinese)
Customers who get angry when I read them their total cost are so compelling to me. Take charge of your narrative, Janice. Be the hero of your own story. You are the one who is purchasing $113.67 worth of adult zen coloring books, Janice. It’s not me you hate, Janice. It’s not me.
(via thebootydiaries)
there are only two genders: monster fuckers and cowards
(Source: worldsworstfather, via professionalanime)
the best thing you will see all year
(Source: babyanimalgifs, via drewmonsun)
- me [searching the beach with my child]: sorry honey, doesn't look like there's any sand dollars left
- child: can't the ocean just make more of them?
- me: and cause inflation? destroy the sand economy? jesus christ Tiffany, use your head
the year is 1888
me, the first palaeontologist to dig up a triceratops skull, whispering softly: what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuckkkk